Wii Sacrilege

Pages:
1
2
…
92

Wii Sacrilege; The thread that dare not speak its name
Topic Started: Aug 24 2007, 09:13 AM (26,072 Views)
Mr Schmoe	Aug 24 2007, 09:13 AM Post #1
Hot-Knackers Hannigan Posts: 3,423 Group: Geighs Member #9 Joined: July 24, 2005	As "Gam-ers", we're doctrine-bound to say how great the Wii is, as it is innovative, doesn't value graphics over gameplay, and isn't pretending to be a media centre. However, after months of underperforming, and blah games like Mario Strikers being hailed as Triple Anus titles, I figured I'd whinge about how rubbish the Wii is, in list form: - When you first played with the remote, no-one admits it, but it's disappointing. It isn't as accurate or smooth as you hope, and half the time you're swinging your putter backwards, whilst it's putting forwards. Seems like the cheaped out half the time. And the pointer movement is so juddery, I'd hate to play an FPS with it. - No good online service - slow shop, friend codes. Both things that the competing systems do better. - The games that are actually coming out are shallow and underdeveloped. When I played Excite Truck, I enjoyed it, but wept at it having fewer features than a 1st gen PS1 racing game. - Rubb graphics. I know they're not the be-all and end-all, but when someone makes a comparison video to prove that your version of RE4 looks as good as the previous gen's incarnation, that's poor. Plus, that's the best looking game on the thing. - Adaptations made to take old adverts out of VC games, but none made to actually improve the game in any way. - No WiiWare, when even the PS3 launched with a couple of decent downloadable games. Boo Nintendo.
	I hope you like the Christmas present I sent you and your wife. radlord ur a fuckhead go lick ur dogs arse


Grampa Boylove	Aug 24 2007, 09:26 AM Post #2
Completely broken Posts: 19,152 Group: Geighs Member #4 Joined: May 27, 2005	Yes. I've yet to play a game with 1 to 1 movement that's actually any good. Everyone says this will come with time, but fuck that they've had more than enough time to do this properly. The thing is basically not accurate enough for this to work as we'd all like. They've cut corners, again. fair enough then, don't play games which feature this glitchy tech. But then you're basically left with a sixaxis with a light gun on the end. It's rubbish. But I do like using the remote and nunchuck, I'd say that's one of the few Nintendo Visions of the Future that's actually better than the olden days. And it was probably just an afterthought so you can control Zelda properly. I really did lose faith in Nintendo after their ridiculous E3 this year. Yeah, have the most genius games designer in history potter about on a jazzerciser. And they blatantly lied to us yet again about the EU support. I'd laugh if that PS2 rip-off is better.
	crimes: non-sequitur, inappropriate pretend friendliness, hateful face, haircut


Mr Schmoe	Aug 24 2007, 09:59 AM Post #3
Hot-Knackers Hannigan Posts: 3,423 Group: Geighs Member #9 Joined: July 24, 2005	I was going to sell my Wii, but I'm just going to get it chipped instead. Then, when they come out with a firmware update to kill any Wii with a chip, I'll use it as a paperweight.
	I hope you like the Christmas present I sent you and your wife. radlord ur a fuckhead go lick ur dogs arse


Violence Ben	Aug 24 2007, 10:07 AM Post #4
Black President Posts: 8,720 Group: Members Member #85 Joined: October 24, 2006	I agree with said points, and yet despite all that, we have this. Despite the fact the Wii is a bit bobbins, I'm still delighted Nintendo have mangaed to pull it off because aren't they cunty. Besides which, they deserved this amount of success with the N64 so I don't begrudge them it now. Even though they're gosh-darn fannying around and wasting their precious talent and resources with mass-appeal shite like Wii Fit.
	I played Bubsy for many hours myself, and there is actually a higher place you can get to in level 2.


Pazzo Dodomingo	Aug 24 2007, 10:13 AM Post #5
Too old for this shit Posts: 11,384 Group: Members Member #46 Joined: September 30, 2006	N64 was shit though.



King Science	Aug 24 2007, 10:23 AM Post #6
Mooncup Posts: 17,866 Group: Members Member #28 Joined: June 23, 2006	What has the world come to when the xbox 360 is the best proper gaming console available?
	an incredibly lurid close-up of an anus.


King Science	Aug 24 2007, 10:23 AM Post #7
Mooncup Posts: 17,866 Group: Members Member #28 Joined: June 23, 2006	that question was to ming.
	an incredibly lurid close-up of an anus.


Pazzo Dodomingo	Aug 24 2007, 10:27 AM Post #8
Too old for this shit Posts: 11,384 Group: Members Member #46 Joined: September 30, 2006	But for all it's faults that us nerds are aware of, everyone I've ever spoken to he isn't really into games absolutely loves the Wii.



Explanation Mark	Aug 24 2007, 10:29 AM Post #9
Dungeon Rapist Father Posts: 5,354 Group: Geighs Member #6 Joined: July 22, 2005	I agree with your points. Though I haven't played my Wii enough to become bored/overly irritated with it. The controller, despite not being all that accurate, hasn't been a problem for me just yet. Wario Ware had a few dodgy games that the controller really didn't work, and putting on golf, and billiards are impossible, but I think I still have plenty to keep me having a quick blast until xmas. I think that because of the way I bought my Wii - i.e. not to be played all the time - I like it alot more. When I do use it, I enjoy it. Also, I'm using it as a gamecube, and it does look alot nicer than the gamecube. If it was the only current gen console I owned, I'd be well pissed knowing that I was going to have to buy another console soon in order to carry on playing games.



cuddlebuttocks	Aug 24 2007, 10:29 AM Post #10
Champion Posts: 551 Group: NEG Member #94 Joined: November 27, 2006	Mr Snuggles Aug 24 2007, 10:13 AM N64 was shit though. Kill this man now.
	The Original Flooder Since 1999


Peter Gibdo	Aug 24 2007, 10:30 AM Post #11
SPEEEEEAAAK! Posts: 15,785 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: February 23, 2005	I don't think anyone expected the Xbox 360 to be more fun than the Wii, but XBL is a massive step forward from Nintendo's spastic online support and limp release schedule.
	Release the bats! Release the bats!


Nuclear Murderer	Aug 24 2007, 10:38 AM Post #12
Space Jerk-off Posts: 13,729 Group: Geighs Member #14 Joined: August 19, 2005	Yes. I am still immensely glad I sold my Wii and got a 360 instead. I must have clocked up more time on the 360 in the first week than the entire 4 months I had an unplugged Wii.



cuddlebuttocks	Aug 24 2007, 10:40 AM Post #13
Champion Posts: 551 Group: NEG Member #94 Joined: November 27, 2006	Wii is genuinely fun, the controller is fine, the available games are fine. Its Nintendo themselves that are the problem. 1)Lack of games - as per usual with a Nintendo console, but ffs, even the GC had more things coming out during the same time period. 2)Nintendo ignoring core games - Even if one were to be making buckloads of money from new customers and grandmothers and whatnot, ignoring your core fanbase, especially those who have sticked around since the beginning, is just plain wrong. Zelda isn't the excuse, nor is Paper Mario. 3)Shitty online gaming - Friend codes are ok in the fact if you organise something then do it, it'll work, but besides that, its in every other way rubbish. 4)Stop being cheap. We don't care if you managed to make Brain Training in 5 weeks, has that short development time allowed you to make loads more games after it? Wheres Animal Crossing, or the oodles of "unique and possible" games that could be done with the Wii? Are you going to stick to WiiSports/Fit until the end of the Wii's lifespan? (which, mind you, could last over 10 years at this rate, oh dear). I'm all for going "YES!" when Nintendo beats the shit out of everyone else, I just didn't expect them to turn back into the NES era bullshitters.
	The Original Flooder Since 1999


dng	Aug 24 2007, 10:47 AM Post #14
Black President Posts: 31,730 Group: Morans Member #19 Joined: December 12, 2005	I like the Wii I might be annoyed with it if I could afford more than one game every few months though



dng	Aug 24 2007, 10:49 AM Post #15
Black President Posts: 31,730 Group: Morans Member #19 Joined: December 12, 2005	Also, I don't understand why Nintendo went to the bother of putting a wireless card in it, and making such a big thing about its 24 connection thing, and then never ever bothered to use it. Or even let it link up with the DS



Violence Ben	Aug 24 2007, 10:51 AM Post #16
Black President Posts: 8,720 Group: Members Member #85 Joined: October 24, 2006	I don't own a single current generation console, or last generation console. What do you think of THAT!? Quote: What has the world come to when the xbox 360 is the best proper gaming console available? I like the 360, so it's come to something pretty okay, so shut up.
	I played Bubsy for many hours myself, and there is actually a higher place you can get to in level 2.


Explanation Mark	Aug 24 2007, 10:52 AM Post #17
Dungeon Rapist Father Posts: 5,354 Group: Geighs Member #6 Joined: July 22, 2005	One thing I do like about the Wii is that the VC Shop is jam packed full of stuff. Though I haven't bought anything. I'm waiting for my stars to points exchange



Peter Gibdo	Aug 24 2007, 10:53 AM Post #18
SPEEEEEAAAK! Posts: 15,785 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: February 23, 2005	It's like the opposite of the 360, which desperately needs a wi-fi card, but you have to sell a kidney to get one.
	Release the bats! Release the bats!


Explanation Mark	Aug 24 2007, 10:56 AM Post #19
Dungeon Rapist Father Posts: 5,354 Group: Geighs Member #6 Joined: July 22, 2005	I wish the wii didn't have wireless. I always find something goes wrong with wireless. and my router is right next to my wii. Its like Nintendo thought: "Don't make it too fancy, but we won't put a basic network port on the console"



King Science	Aug 24 2007, 10:57 AM Post #20
Mooncup Posts: 17,866 Group: Members Member #28 Joined: June 23, 2006	The N64 was/is horrid. The pad just won't fit in my giant manhands, meaning I play it like a spazz and frequently got beaten at mario kart by girls.
	an incredibly lurid close-up of an anus.


dng	Aug 24 2007, 10:58 AM Post #21
Black President Posts: 31,730 Group: Morans Member #19 Joined: December 12, 2005	You must be able to get some sort of adapter for that now, because one of the error messages always bleats on and on about it They probably charge seventy pouns for this, though, and only made seventeen of them for the whole of Europe



dng	Aug 24 2007, 10:59 AM Post #22
Black President Posts: 31,730 Group: Morans Member #19 Joined: December 12, 2005	An adapter for your big fat hands



Peter Gibdo	Aug 24 2007, 10:59 AM Post #23
SPEEEEEAAAK! Posts: 15,785 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: February 23, 2005	The N64 pad is enormous, you clot. I used to cradle the entire thing in my hands so I could play Goldeneye with the d-pad and stick.
	Release the bats! Release the bats!


Peter Gibdo	Aug 24 2007, 11:00 AM Post #24
SPEEEEEAAAK! Posts: 15,785 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: February 23, 2005	The NES had a wi-fi card, but no-one noticed.
	Release the bats! Release the bats!


Violence Ben	Aug 24 2007, 11:35 AM Post #25
Black President Posts: 8,720 Group: Members Member #85 Joined: October 24, 2006	The N64 pad was the singly greatest artifact that humanity ever conceived.
	I played Bubsy for many hours myself, and there is actually a higher place you can get to in level 2.


dng	Aug 24 2007, 11:36 AM Post #26
Black President Posts: 31,730 Group: Morans Member #19 Joined: December 12, 2005	Except for the way the sticks always went all floppy and rubbish



Peter Gibdo	Aug 24 2007, 11:37 AM Post #27
SPEEEEEAAAK! Posts: 15,785 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: February 23, 2005	I dismantled and reassembled mine a few times, usually to get beer out. They're packed full of little bits of rubber.
	Release the bats! Release the bats!


Peter Gibdo	Aug 24 2007, 11:39 AM Post #28
SPEEEEEAAAK! Posts: 15,785 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: February 23, 2005	Anyway, I still think the Wii has the potential to be Brilant, providing Nintendo start cranking out games, and pull their heads out of the sand about online play.
	Release the bats! Release the bats!


King Science	Aug 24 2007, 11:41 AM Post #29
Mooncup Posts: 17,866 Group: Members Member #28 Joined: June 23, 2006	The N64 analogue stick was heinous. Whenever I try to go forward with it, I end up going diagonal-left all the bloody time. The gamecube pad is best, none can deny this.
	an incredibly lurid close-up of an anus.


dng	Aug 24 2007, 11:42 AM Post #30
Black President Posts: 31,730 Group: Morans Member #19 Joined: December 12, 2005	the wii remote and nunchuck is best. I really love it


Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · Moooooooncuuuuuppppp · Next Topic »

Pages:
1
2
…
92